12 STEPS FOR WALKING KIDS THROUGH GRIEF

We can’t protect children from pain and grief, but we can help them through the grieving process.

1. After telling your child a loved one has died, encourage questions. Listen attentively. Be honest in your responses, but don’t worry about having all the answers.

2.  A great way to express feelings is through drawing.  After the picture has been completed ask: Would you like to tell me about this?

3.  Let your child know it’s okay to cry and feel deep emotion. The Bible says that Jesus himself wept.

4.  Remind your child that God heals broken hearts. Psalm 56:8 tells us that God counts our tears.

5.  Sometimes a good-bye gift helps children realize the finality of death. This may mean helping to pick out the flowers, selecting music for the funeral, or making a special gift to put into the casket.

6.  Young children should not be forced to go to the funeral home or the funeral. If they would rather not attend the service, encourage them to express why. They may prefer to live with memories of their loved one.

7.  If your child does want to attend the viewing and/or funeral, talk with them about what to expect.  Describe the room where the casket will be, what people do when they pay respect, why all the flowers are there, and how long they need to stay. Younger children need to know their loved one is lying down in a box called a casket. Explain that he or she will look basically the same but will be lying still, with his or her eyes closed. Show them that the bottom half of the body is there. It’s customary to open the casket only halfway.

8.  If the loved one was a Christian, be sure to assure your child that he/she is now with Jesus. There can be joy for the person who is gone and now in heaven.  But it needs to be understood that there is still deep sorrow felt by those who loved this individual and it’s okay to grieve.

9.  Keep memories alive by compiling photographs and perhaps making a scrapbook or memory box.

10. Talk often about happy times and have prayer thanking God for their life.

11.  Give examples and talk about how much the deceased loved the child so they don’t feel abandoned.

12.  Talk about the Easter story and Jesus’ resurrection to give confidence that Jesus has the power to raise us and give us eternal life.

Resources:  All Things Work Together and Hole in the Sky (from Get on Board album) reminds children that God heals broken hearts. (Click on titles to hear clips.)